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Dr Tom MacLaren, Consultant Psychiatrist at Re:Cognition Health was featured in an article in the Daily Mail about having a “rage friend”, someone you can trust to vent your anger to. In a society that often discourages open expressions of anger, there is significant pressure to remain composed, leading many people to suppress their frustrations. This suppression can result in stress build-up, which affects both mental and physical health. However, anger is a natural and valid emotion, and finding a healthy outlet for it is crucial. A “rage friend” provides just that—a safe, judgment-free space to release pent-up emotions, gain perspective, and process intense feelings. This simple yet effective concept allows individuals to manage their anger constructively, reducing the impact of stress on overall wellbeing.
Below Dr MacLaren explores the concept of a rage friend:
Why Venting is Vital
Anger is a natural human emotion. When something feels wrong or unjust, anger is often our instinctive response. Suppressing it can cause a range of problems, from heightened anxiety and stress to physical symptoms like headaches or high blood pressure. A “rage friend” provides a safe space to let these feelings out, allowing you to express frustration without fear of backlash or misunderstanding. This kind of emotional release is essential for maintaining your mental and physical health.
Venting isn’t just about letting off steam; it’s about processing your emotions. Talking through what’s bothering you with a trusted friend helps you to make sense of your anger, gain clarity and start seeing the bigger picture. A “rage friend” doesn’t just listen; they validate your feelings, offer empathy and may even give you a fresh perspective. Sometimes, just knowing that someone else shares your frustration can make you feel less isolated and more capable of handling the situation.
The benefits of having a “Rage Friend”
When you share your anger with someone who genuinely understands, it can create a deeper connection and build trust. A “rage friend” becomes a safe sounding board, allowing you to voice your true thoughts without judgement. This mutual support can strengthen friendships, as both parties know they can rely on each other in moments of emotional intensity. The shared experience of venting creates a unique bond, reinforcing the idea that neither of you has to face life’s challenges alone.
What’s more, having a friend to vent to can help diffuse the situation, making it easier to move from a place of frustration to one of constructive action. After all, anger can be a powerful motivator. When expressed and managed properly, it can act as a catalyst for change, signalling that something in your life needs addressing or that a particular situation demands a response. Venting allows you to channel that emotional energy in a positive way, ultimately making you more capable of addressing the source of your anger.
Anger as a force for good
Many view anger as a purely negative emotion, but this isn’t always the case. When harnessed effectively, anger can be a force for good. It often highlights issues that need attention, whether in our personal lives or in society as a whole. History has shown that collective anger, when channelled into action, has driven social change, sparked movements, and led to meaningful progress. The emotion itself isn’t inherently harmful; it’s how we manage it that makes the difference.
The key to transforming anger into a constructive force is to acknowledge and process it rather than allowing it to fester. A “rage friend” can help you navigate these feelings, ensuring that you don’t fall into the trap of uncontrolled rage that can damage relationships or lead to poor decision-making. By venting, you take the first step in turning raw emotion into motivation, using anger to fuel solutions instead of allowing it to consume you.
Healthy ways to channel anger
While anger can be empowering, it’s important to handle it with care. Below are strategies for making sure your anger leads to positive outcomes, rather than destructive ones:
- Talk it Out: Use your “rage friend” as a sounding board. Share your frustrations and see if they have a different perspective or advice. Often, saying things out loud can make them feel more manageable.
- Pause Before Reacting: Give yourself time to cool down before taking any action. Anger can cloud judgement, so take a deep breath, step back, and think about the best way to respond.
- Turn Anger into Action: If something feels unfair or unjust, think about how you can use your frustration constructively. This might mean standing up for yourself, seeking a compromise, or advocating for change.
- Express Yourself Through Writing: Sometimes, writing down what you’re feeling can help you process emotions without needing to involve anyone else. A journal can be a great outlet for venting frustrations.
- Use Physical Activity: Physical exercise is an effective way to release pent-up anger. A brisk walk, run, or even a few minutes of punching a pillow can help dissipate those intense emotions.
- Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation: Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation can help you regain control over your emotions when anger threatens to overwhelm.
The role of empathy and validation
One of the most valuable aspects of having a “rage friend” is the empathy they provide. Feeling understood and validated can diffuse anger, transforming it from something destructive into a tool for insight. When a friend listens without judgement, they’re offering a form of support that encourages you to look beyond the initial emotional reaction and consider how to move forward. This shared empathy can create a safe emotional space, giving you the courage to face challenges head-on.
Embracing anger without fear
In a culture that often promotes suppressing negative emotions, it’s refreshing to acknowledge that anger is not something to fear. When managed appropriately, it can bring clarity, encourage self-advocacy and even strengthen relationships. A “rage friend” can be an essential ally in this process, helping you navigate difficult emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
Having someone to share your anger with isn’t about wallowing in negativity—it’s about recognising the emotion, processing it, and then letting it go. Embracing this approach can turn anger from a destructive force into a motivator for positive change, empowering you to face challenges with a clearer mind and a stronger sense of purpose.
Read the full article: Do you have a ‘rage pal’? Psychologists reveal how having a friend to get angry with is a ‘healthy’ way to process emotions
